July 29th, 2010 by admin

attn 11 mp3: http://bit.ly/bVtip3

Broadcasters become stars and stars become broadcasters as an ominous hip-hop sample infuses the news of the day. Joel Madden guests as a fictional CBS correspondent. UPDATE: any resemblance the intentional performers may bear to media personalities living or dead is purely coincidental.

Find Joel Madden online:

http://www.goodcharlotte.com

http://www.twitter.com/JoelMadden

Mike Penny shreds the shamisen. His YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/mikepenny01

Need more auto-tuned news in your life? Subscribe! Or find us elsewhere:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Lyrics available in the closed captions (turn the on at the bottom-right-hand corner of the youtube player)!
and here:

NF: You have the charisma of a damp rag!
Gorilla: Damp rag!
NF: You have the appearance of a bank clerk!
Gorilla: Bank Clerk!
NF: Who are you? I’d never heard of you!
Gorilla: Eat my poo!
NF: Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But I have no doubt that it’s your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy.
Perhaps that’s because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country.
We don’t know you, we don’t want you!
The sooner you’re put out to grass, the better!
We don’t like you, we don’t want you!
Gorilla: Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!
Bølverk: Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Gorilla: Don’t make me have to start World War III !
Bølverk: Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
NG: We don’t know you, we don’t want you!
We don’t like you, we don’t want you!

KC: Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
was surprised to read that he died.
JM: How can he read if he’s dead?
KC: Chief Justice John Roberts
was the last to know he resigned.
JM: Maybe he should check his head!
KC:All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock
that proliferated online.
JM: I do it all the time, makin up s— is so sublime.
KC: But that of course is little solace for the reader
who simply wants to surf the web
without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies.
JM: You can’t protect the web from a–holes like me, shorty!
KC: Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool
JM: Don’t play me for a fool you know as well as I,
we’re both getting owned by the
Both: Rip, riptide of lies
pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies
Pure poppycock!
I want to surf, surf the web
without getting pulled under
by a rip, riptide of lies!

GB: You hit on a guy at a wedding.
EM: I I So
GB: Explain that one first.
EM: Okay, so we’re at a wedding, New Year’s Eve,
everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there,
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her,
I grabbed a bachelor.
Now they’re sayin I groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did! – Um. – Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Staffers: A manly back-rub. Just a back rub!
EM: We all live together, all the bachelors and me.
Staffers: Naked in the tub!
EM:You can take anything out of context!
Staffers:Huggin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Scrubbin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Rubbin and humpin!
EM: Yeah!
Staffers: Ticklin and jumpin!
EM: Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn’t breathe,
then four guys jumped on me.
It’s my fiftieth birthday.
GB: Whether you’re telling the truth or not,
An avalanche is coming your way.
An avalanche of lies,
SG: pulled under by an avalanche of lies!
KC/JM: Pure poppycock!
GB: Whether you’re telling the truth or not,
SG: you’re guaranteed to get caught
Both: in an avalanche of lies!

Staffer: Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G,
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin’ when i’m askin’ him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, i’m a goner
Tryna pretend that i don’t notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina!

——–
Staffers:
Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall,
you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls!
You have to be a soldier, a real man,
to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand!
Ain’t nothin wrong with a Massa massage
when you’re in a chronic platonic quintuple menage!
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can’t escape
Tryna pretend they don’t notice when he ejacu- -

Duration : 0:4:20

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Technorati Tags: 11, auto, beck, brothers, Couric, eric, farage, glenn, gregory, joel, Katie, madden, massa, news, nigel, poppycock, pure, the, Tune

11, auto, beck, brothers, Couric, eric, farage, glenn, gregory, joel, Katie, madden, massa, news, nigel, poppycock, pure, the, Tune

July 29th, 2010 by admin

The possibility of California marijuana legalization and suggestion of Supreme Court lesbianism inspire rousing choruses from concerned/excited news personalities. mp3 download: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/LvkLOpKAUqEx/

Produced by The Gregory Brothers. More on us:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

ATTN shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News

Lyrics:

The market value of pot would go down, down, down if we legalize it
Then supersize it
Right now, now, now
$4,000 an ounce
That’s way too much
$400 an ounce
That’s ten times the blunts
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right right now, now, now

That huge profit margin would go down, down, down if pot were legal
For the needy people
Right now, now, now
Does it lead to harder drugs?
No more than cigarettes
No, absolutely not
It leads to happiness
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right. Right now, now, now

A photo of supreme court nominee Elena Kagan shows Kagan playing softball
Uh, uh…
That’s been sort of a signal like 2 men sunbathing together on a beach
Or something like that
The immediate implication is that they’re gay
That’s all, I’ve, I’ve known that for a long time
And as soon as I saw that picture
I knew the implication:
She’s gay, she’s gay!
I saw the allegation:
she’s gay, she’s gay!
Her sexual orientation
Significant in her confirmation
Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay, gay lesbian)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay lesbian, lesbian)

Gay, gay, gay, gay like two men sunbathing together on a beach (3x)
Or something like that
The White House denies her gayness
But she got Village People on her iPod playlist

::laughing/chuckling/chortling::

There’s nothing wrong with a little levity
When we’re short on thoughts and long on brevity

::bantering::

Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)……
we’re having a conversation
about the implication
of sexual orientation
a silly allegation
of extreme exaggeration
and pointless information
when it comes to confirmation

You would have to smooooke
14 joints in 1960
Today minus 50
To get just as hiiiigh
As in 2010 with just 1 joint
Goin back in time always disappoints
Isn’t that amazing?
It’s gonna be crazy in 2060

If we legalize marijuana
It would be a very dark day
In California
Dark with smooooke
Very bad idea
Would it balance our budget?
It would not!
Half of voters favor legalizing pot
If we legalize marijuana
It would be a dark, dark day
Very bad!
A dark, dark best day I’d ever have
A dark, dark, dark, dark, dark dark day.

Duration : 0:3:14

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Technorati Tags: 12, allen, auto, bishop, brothers, buchanan, einstein, elena, gay, gregory, joe, junkie, kagan, kelly, lesbian, megyn, morning, news, pat, regan, remix, Ron, scarborough, the, trish, Tune, weed

12, allen, auto, bishop, brothers, buchanan, einstein, elena, gay, gregory, joe, junkie, kagan, kelly, lesbian, megyn, morning, news, pat, regan, remix, Ron, scarborough, the, trish, Tune, weed

July 26th, 2010 by admin

http://www.infowars.com/

http://www.prisonplanet.com/

Fox News’ Geraldo has ‘conspiracy theorist’ Alex Jones on to examine the evidence that shows that DC Madam Deborah Jean Palfrey was murdered– despite the official claim that she committed suicide.

Jones points out the numerous statements Palfrey made in refutation of suicide, as well as the criminology that women rarely hang themselves, generally preferring pills.

Geraldo and two co-hosts admit they agree with Alex Jones– that claims of Palfrey’s suicide are “stinky” and suspicious and that the case should be further investigated.

One woman even says that the John’s on Palfreys list– including many high-level politicians– should be revealed and prosecuted.

Palfrey’s hi-rise apartment manager in Florida says he saw Palfrey only days before her death when she told him a contract may be out on her life. Additionally, she made arrangments to secure her apartment for the next six years– the approximate time she expected to be in prison–seemingly pointing to the idea that she expected to stay alive.

Duration : 0:8:16

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Technorati Tags: Alex, Cheney, David, DC, Deborah, Dick, Fox, Geraldo, giuliani, jean, John, Jones, Madam, mccain, Palfrey, prostitution, Vitters

Alex, Cheney, David, DC, Deborah, Dick, Fox, Geraldo, giuliani, jean, John, Jones, Madam, mccain, Palfrey, prostitution, Vitters

July 26th, 2010 by admin

The classic 1985 music video for the hit song from the Back To The Future trilogy. Featuring Christopher Lloyd.

Duration : 0:6:28

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Technorati Tags: and, Back, brown, Capacitor, De, Doc, Emmett, Flux, Future, Huey, Lewis, Lorean, Love, Marty, McFly, news, of, Power, the, to

and, Back, brown, Capacitor, De, Doc, Emmett, Flux, Future, Huey, Lewis, Lorean, Love, Marty, McFly, news, of, Power, the, to

July 24th, 2010 by admin

Here’s me hosting the news and my brothers keep intruding
Enjoy!

Music by Brad Sucks:
Intro: “Making Me Nervous” – Brad Sucks
During: “Darien Gap” (instrumental) – Josh Woodward
Montage: “Bad Attraction” – Brad Sucks
www.bradsucks.net
http://joshwoodward.com

Duration : 0:3:20

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Technorati Tags: absurd, animal, anker, article, bullet, camera, car, casing, cast, Dance, dean, defranco, duck, forest, furious, hair, host, journal, Journalism, light, Montage, Music, news, nieuws, old, philip, presenting, ripoff, sxephil, woods

absurd, animal, anker, article, bullet, camera, car, casing, cast, Dance, dean, defranco, duck, forest, furious, hair, host, journal, Journalism, light, Montage, Music, news, nieuws, old, philip, presenting, ripoff, sxephil, woods

July 24th, 2010 by admin

A clip from Charlie Brookers Newswipe (8th April 2009) in which Brooker discusses the working of TV News on either side of the pond

Duration : 0:9:26

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Technorati Tags: anchors, beck, Bill, Brooker, Charlie, Funny, glen, news, newswipe, Oreilly, screenwipe

anchors, beck, Bill, Brooker, Charlie, Funny, glen, news, newswipe, Oreilly, screenwipe

July 21st, 2010 by admin

http://bit.ly/bSrrym

Part2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X3gcdRrorg

Funny news bloopers!!

funny news bloopers

Duration : 0:7:16

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Technorati Tags: basketball, bet, bloopers, cnn, comedy, Cool, Fox, Funny, lo, look, mtv, NBC, news, stand, top, TV, up, youtube

basketball, bet, bloopers, cnn, comedy, Cool, Fox, Funny, lo, look, mtv, NBC, news, stand, top, TV, up, youtube

July 21st, 2010 by admin

attn 10 mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-10/
Original song, Aquarium Girl, by Kapluckus–album available here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/kapluckus/id287197642

Duration : 0:3:18

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Technorati Tags: 10, andrew, auto, brees, brothers, brown, cordes, drew, evan, fence, football, gregory, hoekstra, jobs, Michael, Nancy, New, news, orleans, Pelosi, peter, saints, Sarah, scott, the, Tune, turtle

10, andrew, auto, brees, brothers, brown, cordes, drew, evan, fence, football, gregory, hoekstra, jobs, Michael, Nancy, New, news, orleans, Pelosi, peter, saints, Sarah, scott, the, Tune, turtle

July 20th, 2010 by admin

The economy has affected most businesses out there. The dollars don’t seem to be flowing as well as they used to. Some companies are trying to find new business by looking nationally. This is an option but the competition can be fierce. There is another way that is more effective for the small business owner and that is local marketing. In the world of small business internet marketing local is better. Most consumers want to help local businesses and local marketing helps you take advantage of that. You know your market better than someone from another state or even region. Your dollars will be better leveraged and you don’t have the additional cost of expansion. It is like the man who traveled around the world to find a wife and then married the girl next door. There is opportunity right in front of you. Making a move to dominate your local market before spending money to expand outside your area just makes good financial sense in these times. There are experts in the field of local internet marketing at a company called Orange Soda. They can help you develop a plan to help you dominate your local market. They will help you in areas like (SEM) search engine marketing, (PPC) pay per click and (SEO) search engine optimization. They are the experts in this field and will free you up to work in the area that you are an expert in, Your Business! So go to http://www.orangesoda.com/ and see all the options that they have to offer.

Technorati Tags: INFO, internet marketing, Orange Soda, small business internet marketing, small business marketing

INFO, internet marketing, Orange Soda, small business internet marketing, small business marketing

July 18th, 2010 by admin

presidents and prime ministers sing in harmony. Love and happiness abounds. Get the mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-9?pytr=gregorybrothers

Donations:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

Lyrics:

HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Seamos un tilín mejores
Y un poco menos egoístas
Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Huele a esperanza
FR: In this common endeavor
Huele a esperanza
GB: All of us work together
HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
BO: We must embrace a new era of engagement
Because the time has come
UN Choir: To smell the hope!
GB: For growth to be sustained
It has to be shared

UN Choir: ohhh, We can smell the hope!
BO: The time has come
UN Choir: To smell a better world!!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere.

AG: Don’t get sick
That’s right, don’t get sick
If you have insurance, don’t get sick
If you don’t have insurance, don’t get sick
If you’re sick, don’t get sick
Just don’t get sick
That’s the Republicans’ health care plan
CC: He has a chart
AG: An angry chart
CC: A chart that helps us learn!
AG: ooh ooh ah ah
If you get sick in America, die quickly
That’s right–the Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick
AG: I agree!
CC: He agrees!
AG: Angrily!
CC: Cuz he’s angry!

KO: Afford to live?
Are we at that point?
Are we so heartless?
How can we not be united against death?
Us: My BFF Gilgamesh knows eternal life’s an impossible quest

The resources exist for your father and mine to get the same treatment
Us: Yeah, we’re in agreement
But first we gotta lay down some
All: High speed rail
Us: Bail out some
All: Banks
Us: Save your daddy with the leftover change

KO: How can we be so heartless?
Us: We’re nihilists!
KO: How can we be so heeeeaaartless?
Us: We’re tryna die quick!
KO: What more obvious role could government have
Than the defense of the life of each citizen?

KC: How is the Nobel Peace Prize decided?
BS: Well, uh, that is what people were asking all day today
Bølverk: We mix a secret potion,
And roll the ancient dice,
Then hire a focus group
And have a human sacrifice.
KC: A lot of people are asking today why do you think the committee elected President Obama?
Bølverk: I believe a prize for peace should go to the biggest wuss.
BS: They were giving Obama a prize for not being George Bush.
Choir: They can smell the hope!!
KC: Take a deep breath!
Choir: And hope a smelly world!
KC: A deep breath!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere

Duration : 0:2:56

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Technorati Tags: AirGuitar, AutoTune, BarelyPolitical, GregoryBrothers, Musical, news, ObamaGirl, remix, ShowTune, TPain, UnitedNations

AirGuitar, AutoTune, BarelyPolitical, GregoryBrothers, Musical, news, ObamaGirl, remix, ShowTune, TPain, UnitedNations