July 29th, 2010 by admin

attn 11 mp3: http://bit.ly/bVtip3

Broadcasters become stars and stars become broadcasters as an ominous hip-hop sample infuses the news of the day. Joel Madden guests as a fictional CBS correspondent. UPDATE: any resemblance the intentional performers may bear to media personalities living or dead is purely coincidental.

Find Joel Madden online:

http://www.goodcharlotte.com

http://www.twitter.com/JoelMadden

Mike Penny shreds the shamisen. His YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/mikepenny01

Need more auto-tuned news in your life? Subscribe! Or find us elsewhere:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Lyrics available in the closed captions (turn the on at the bottom-right-hand corner of the youtube player)!
and here:

NF: You have the charisma of a damp rag!
Gorilla: Damp rag!
NF: You have the appearance of a bank clerk!
Gorilla: Bank Clerk!
NF: Who are you? I’d never heard of you!
Gorilla: Eat my poo!
NF: Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But I have no doubt that it’s your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy.
Perhaps that’s because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country.
We don’t know you, we don’t want you!
The sooner you’re put out to grass, the better!
We don’t like you, we don’t want you!
Gorilla: Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!
Bølverk: Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Gorilla: Don’t make me have to start World War III !
Bølverk: Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
NG: We don’t know you, we don’t want you!
We don’t like you, we don’t want you!

KC: Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
was surprised to read that he died.
JM: How can he read if he’s dead?
KC: Chief Justice John Roberts
was the last to know he resigned.
JM: Maybe he should check his head!
KC:All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock
that proliferated online.
JM: I do it all the time, makin up s— is so sublime.
KC: But that of course is little solace for the reader
who simply wants to surf the web
without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies.
JM: You can’t protect the web from a–holes like me, shorty!
KC: Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool
JM: Don’t play me for a fool you know as well as I,
we’re both getting owned by the
Both: Rip, riptide of lies
pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies
Pure poppycock!
I want to surf, surf the web
without getting pulled under
by a rip, riptide of lies!

GB: You hit on a guy at a wedding.
EM: I I So
GB: Explain that one first.
EM: Okay, so we’re at a wedding, New Year’s Eve,
everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there,
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her,
I grabbed a bachelor.
Now they’re sayin I groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did! – Um. – Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Staffers: A manly back-rub. Just a back rub!
EM: We all live together, all the bachelors and me.
Staffers: Naked in the tub!
EM:You can take anything out of context!
Staffers:Huggin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Scrubbin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Rubbin and humpin!
EM: Yeah!
Staffers: Ticklin and jumpin!
EM: Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn’t breathe,
then four guys jumped on me.
It’s my fiftieth birthday.
GB: Whether you’re telling the truth or not,
An avalanche is coming your way.
An avalanche of lies,
SG: pulled under by an avalanche of lies!
KC/JM: Pure poppycock!
GB: Whether you’re telling the truth or not,
SG: you’re guaranteed to get caught
Both: in an avalanche of lies!

Staffer: Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G,
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin’ when i’m askin’ him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, i’m a goner
Tryna pretend that i don’t notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina!

——–
Staffers:
Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall,
you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls!
You have to be a soldier, a real man,
to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand!
Ain’t nothin wrong with a Massa massage
when you’re in a chronic platonic quintuple menage!
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can’t escape
Tryna pretend they don’t notice when he ejacu- -

Duration : 0:4:20

Read the rest of this entry »

11, auto, beck, brothers, Couric, eric, farage, glenn, gregory, joel, Katie, madden, massa, news, nigel, poppycock, pure, the, Tune

June 28th, 2010 by admin

The Gregory Brothers tackle Sotomayor, poison flowers, Joe Biden, and Jacuzzis.

mp3 available–

http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-4/

Their channel here:

http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho

Lyrics:

EG: where all the shawties on the court?

JS: It’s ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn’t seem right to me.

EG: Ain’t nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs.

MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs.

EG: When the court convenes it’s an ancient sausage festival.

MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles..

BB: There are so many qualified women out there.

MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe.

MB: I completely agree with you.

EG: And I complete agree, too.

MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain’t a man?

BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she’s really very lonely without another woman.

MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: I know what it’s like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn.

MB: Breaking news!

EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face!

MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor.

EG, MG: She’s a shawty, She’s a Boricua!

EG: Jurisprudent!

JS: With soft thighs!

MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank
heaven above.

EG: because she ain’t

All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: Listen up, y’all, Joe Biden’s got a shout out!
This one goes out to all the serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians

JB: And until the Serbian people
Look themselves in the face
Understand what their leaders have done
And convinced them of
Until that moment arrives
Serbian people will not
Be able to shed this notion of victimization
That all of their leaders prey upon
And manipulate them with
Until that moment arrives
Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face
Until that moment arrives
Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives

KC: April showers bring May flowers
But what do May flowers bring?
AG: Romance for a shawty
KC: Possibly lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf::
KC: Lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf, barf:: I’m gettin sick like
::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf::
KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the
Fruits and vegetables of your labor
AG: Shawty
KC: You’d better get your soil tested first
AG: Oh
KC: Your soil tested first
AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto
So I’ll expect the worst
KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides
May be buried insiiiiide
AG: Me, oh my
KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil
The tests are inexpensive
And some local health departments
Do them for freeeeeeee
AG: Even for a talking head thug like me?
KC: Once you’re in the clear
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Plant away
AG: Okay
And when asked how does your garden grow
Tell them it’s healthy, green and lead-free
AG: I’ll say it’s healthy, green and lead-free, shawty
KC: Healtheeeeeee
AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me
I ain’t tryna munch on a poison zucchini

NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy
Regulating jacuzzis
Now, the ideastrikes me
As close to being nuts

AG: I agree–I’m an angry gorilla and that makes me angry

JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate
Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy

AG: You made me angry with lies
Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I’m angry

NG: On page 233, uh
Line 5: portable electric spas

All: Portable electric spas!

MG: No spa is above the law!

NG: Now, I don’t know what a portable electric spa is
I was told it was a jacuzzi
But that’s in this bill

AG: So it’s true!
I’m no longer angry at you
My original anger’s renewed

JI: We will give you a hot spa
That is energy efficient
I hope that doesn’t offend you

AG: He might have a point
My anger’s makin a switch
Cuz you’re being a little b*$&
But maybe not
Maybe you’re just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis
ohhhhhh
What’s this? a single tear that is wet that i shed

When an angry gorilla cries
Who’s gonna be there to dry his eyes?
And when an angry gorilla’s depressed
Who’s gonna heal him with a soft caress?
Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete

And I’m a soulja, but a soulja’s got feelings,
Don’t know whom to lend my anger to,
And that’s why I’m crestfallen and confused

Duration : 0:5:11

Read the rest of this entry »

AutoTune, BarelyPolitical, Couric, GregoryBrothers, Katie, Music, news, newtgrich, parody, remix, sing, song, sotomayor, TPain, video

June 21st, 2010 by admin

mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-gregory-brothers/auto-tune-the-news-number-6/?pytr=gregorybrothers
ATTN shirts also available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
The Gregory Brothers bring the world another installment of the news with a beat. Among the topics this week: Jackson, Palin, and Bachman, oh my!
See Michael Gregory’s other videos at: http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho

Duration : 0:3:7

Read the rest of this entry »

AutoTune, Bachmann, BarelyPolitical, Boehner, Brian, Couric, GregoryBrothers, Jackson, John, Katie, Michael, Michele, Music, Nancy, news, Oxman, Palin, parody, Pelosi, remix, Sarah, satire, ShowTune, song, techno, video